i dkw if its things tht happen recently tht made me become like this . or im like this all along.

my mood can jus sway from left to right just in a minute. Yes, im like tht.

Now, tht i've gtta wad i always wanted. What am i still worrying or pondering about?

I always tell myself if im not gna change my temper, my attitude someday i've gna lose smth dear to me. But it doesnt seems to work :( Time after time, i made th same old mistake. I dkw why my mood can just change in a blink recently. This is very bad, very very bad.

Taking just today as a very good example,

I forced myself to kept quiet for close to an hour, i literally forced. i slpt for 30mins and spend tht remaining time keeping myself occupied, but actually at this point of time i was thinking a lot inside.

Throwing th 2 out of 3 muffins i made into th bin when it was suppose to be a present, just bcus i think it doesnt taste nice, i just threw it into th bin. Just what's wrong wit me?Why this weird and sudden change in me? :/

Perhaps, i just have to stop hoping, stop expecting.

I shld really focus on what i shld, and wad's impt.

I know im really not good enough, Im really trying.